Jason Voorhees

Review: Friday the 13th (2009) (Carson’s View)

Friday the 13th is a reboot/sequel.  It has the same title as the original, however, serves more as a follow up to Mrs. Voorhees’ killing spree.  It shows a brief recreation of the events that happen in the original Friday the 13th to introduce Jason’s mother to a new generation.  This is origin of our new Jason.  This is the genesis of the hockey mask.  We are supposed to forget that he ever went hell, or into space, or fought Freddy Krueger.  This is a clean slate for the stalker of Crystal Lake.

Friday the 13th is a pretty predictable slasher horror movie.  It doesn’t give us anything new, just updated.  Instead of killing young adults of the 80’s, we are now killing millennials (which might appeal to some).  It is good to see Jason run after his victims.  No more silent walks through the woods.  It is much more difficult to escape a fast, ax-throwing Jason.  I appreciate the reboot sticking to what makes Jason “Jason”, although I had hoped for more of a reimagining of the character and the plot.  For someone who has never seen a Friday the 13th movie before, this is a good introduction to the franchise.  For those of us who have seen the other 11 movies, this feels a bit of a retread.

 

Review: Jason X (Garrett’s View)

True story: I saw this in the theater with Carson back in 2002. After the first victim of Jason meets their demise, a guy right in front of us yelled “KICK ASS! JASON. IS. BACK.” To this day, hundreds of movie theater experiences later, I’ve never seen or heard anyone more excited in a theater than that guy at that moment. Though it was a completely ridiculous moment, I should probably thank that guy for forging such a strong memory in my mind that everything else about the movie just evaporated once the credits rolled. I had no recollection of:

The ridiculous premise that had Jason Voorhees being cryogenically frozen because he was able to heal himself like Wolverine.

The low-budget film set that looked like it was leased from that miserable Kevin Sorbo television show Andromeda.

The wardrobe that in no way tries to be futuristic and just assumes that everyone in the year 2455 dresses exactly as they would have at the 2002 MTV VMA show.

One of the most absurd kills you will ever see in a horror movie — and it involves a sleeping bag.

Embarrassing CGI effects that are somehow WORSE than the aforementioned miserable Kevin Sorbo television show Andromeda.

The premise of Jason X is simply Jason in space. That’s all it took to get this greenlit with a budget only slightly bigger than the first SEVEN Friday the 13th movies combined! It’s hard to believe that much money was spent on this film. It is awful and not worthy of a viewing. Not even in a group of friends. It’s not funny bad. It’s just bad. I can only assume Kevin Sorbo got super rich off of this.